We have a listing of Desirable Qualities. Exactly why is it burdensome for Women to Commit?

Reader matter:

Me: 46 years of age, African-American male, pro job, home owner, attractive, 20-year-old child. We date outside my battle. I am in excellent shape.

It appears as much as women want a loyal commitment, they do not wish agree to me personally. I do have a “list” of attractive qualities — appealing, capable care for her finances, a social or nondrinker and an individual who is actually prepared and capable take a trip and carry out acts.

Why is it hard for females to dedicate once I provide outward signs of wanting to take a committed connection?

-Mark (Ca)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Yes, too many women are acting like guys (or the way they THINK guys behave) as they are keeping away from dedication. However, i am going to tell you you may still find more ladies who desire a secure attachment than perhaps not.

I’m wondering why you might seem to get interested in women that prevent a good connect. Could this be your choice in goals?

My suggestion will be to talk to females that you will most likely not at first be interested in and see should you decide loosen up in their mind. Occasionally the failure locate a secure relationship is related to all of our anxieties of abandonment.

To phrase it differently, we decided on associates whom cannot get near to protect all of us from getting “dangerously” close and risk abandonment.

Take to internet dating the kind of person you’ve never, actually ever outdated before. Go-slow. And focus on your emotions along the way.

Do you really become easily jealous, wish to get a grip on the woman time or desire to secure the deal too fast? The secret is to consist of your self and quell your own concerns.

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